为您找到与圣诞节笑话 英语笑话短句相关的共200个结果:
在日常繁忙的生活中,也不要忘了放松自己的心情。下面是读文网小编为大家带来有关圣诞节英语笑话,希望大家喜欢!
As we were putting out cookies for Santa on Christmas Eve, I accidentally dropped one.
"No problem," I said, picking it up and dusting it off before placing it back on the plate.
"You can’t do that," argued my four-year-old.
"Don’t worry. Santa will never know."
He shot me a look.
"So he knows if I’ve been bad or good, but he doesn’t know the cookie fell on the floor?"
平安夜那天,在我们分发饼干时,我一不小心掉了一块到地上。
“没关系。”我一边说,一边捡起来,并在放回盘子前掸掉了上面的灰。
“你不能那么做。”我四岁大的孩子争论道。
“别担心,圣诞老人不会知道的。”他朝我瞟了一眼。
“这就是说他知道我有没有做坏事,而他不知道饼干掉在地上过?”
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圣诞节英语笑话故事
Jesus's Telly
A child on Christmas time asked for some paper and crayons in order to draw a crib. Eventually the artistic masterpiece was displayed for parental approval. The manager, the shepherds, Jesus and Holy Family wore duly admired.
"But what's that in the corner?" asked Mother.
"Oh, that's their telly," replied the tot.
耶稣的电视机
圣诞节时孩子要了纸和蜡笔,想画一张耶稣诞生像。最后这件艺术品被陈列出来供父母鉴赏。
他们对耶稣诞生后睡的马槽,牧羊人,耶稣及其家庭都逐一表示赞赏。
“可是那个角落里是什么?”妈妈问。
“噢,那是他们的电视机,”孩子回答说。
What does Santa Claus like to do in his garden?
Answer: he likes to hoe, hoe, hoe
圣诞老人喜欢在花园里做什么?
答案:锄地。(英文里Hoe 和ho同音。hoe是锄草之意,ho则是圣诞老人的笑声。)
A half-eaten egg was a result it becomes a leftover egg! I wish Merry Christmas
一个鸡蛋被吃剩半边,结果它变成了剩蛋!预祝圣诞快乐
The thief and the judge
It was Christmas and the judge was in a benevolent mood as he questioned the prisoner. "What are you charged with?" he asked.
"Doing my christmas shopping early," replied the defendant.
"That's no offense," replied the judge, "How early were you doing this shopping?"
"Before the store opened," countered the prisoner.
法官与小偷
那天是圣诞节,法官在审讯犯人时也有点恻隐之心。“你为什么而被起诉?”他问。
“采购圣诞节物品过早。”被告答。
“这不算犯法,”法官回答,“你购物多早?”
在商店开门之前,“犯人应道。
On Christmas Eve Santa Claus met an honest politician and a kind lawyer while riding up in an elevator of a very exclusive hotel. Just before the doors opened the three of them noticed a 1000NT bill lying on the floor. Which one of them do you think picked it up?
Answer: Santa of course! Why? Because everybody knows that the other two don’t exist!
圣诞节前夕,圣诞老人和一清廉的政治人物,以及一心地善良的律师在一家高级饭店一同等电梯,门还未开前,三人同时看到地上有一张新台币1000元的钞票,猜猜谁会将它捡起?
答案:当然是圣诞老人啦!为什么?因为大家都知道另外两者并不存在。
If you have not received my Christmas present, it has to be because of - your socks have a big hole! Bu Bu it fast! !中文:如果你今天没收到我的圣诞礼物,那一定是因为--你的袜子有个大洞! 快补补吧!!
a few days later I heard that you want to have eggs, that true? That I wish you lay eggs (Christmas) Happy! In a few days you have to Egg's full moon, I also wish you a round ahead of eggs (New Year's Day) Happy! Send
听说你过几天要生个蛋,真的吗?那我得祝你生蛋(圣诞)快乐!再过几天你的蛋蛋又要满月,那么我就也提前祝你圆蛋(元旦)快乐! 发送
I wish to Santa Claus on Christmas Eve: I hope that no matter how bad your feet, wear socks when tomorrow morning, I'll give you receive the full blessing, the warmth of your heart and feet ㄚ子!
平安夜我向圣诞老人许愿:希望不管你脚多么臭,明早当穿起袜子时,能收到我给你的满满的祝福,温暖你的心和脚ㄚ子!
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在日常繁忙的生活中,也不要忘了放松自己的心情。下面是读文网小编为大家带来圣诞节英语笑话四则,希望大家喜欢!
Lee, A seven-year-old boy, was asked to say thanks for the Christmas dinner. The family members bowed their heads in expectation. Lee began his prayer, thanking God for his Mommy, Daddy, brothers, sister, Grandma, and all his aunts and uncles. Then he began to thank God for the food.
有个小男孩叫Lee, 今年七岁,圣诞节晚餐开桌前,家人让他做餐前祷告。家人都带着期待的申请低头看着他,Lee开始做他得祷告,首先,他谢谢上帝赐予他爸爸妈妈,哥哥姐姐诶,奶奶还有他们家的所有叔叔婶婶。然后,他开始感谢上帝赐予他得圣诞节晚餐了。
He gave thanks for the turkey, the stuffing, the Christmas pudding, even the cranberry sauce. Then lee paused, and everyone waited ... and waited. After a long silence, the young fellow looked up at his mother and asked, "If I thank God for the Brussels sprouts, won't he know that I'm lying?"
他感谢上帝赐予他火鸡,馅儿饼,圣诞布丁和红莓酱。然后Lee停下来了 ,大家等啊等啊。。。。Lee沉默了很长时间,然后抬起头看着他妈妈说:“妈妈,如果我感谢上帝赐予我甘蓝菜,他会知道我在撒谎吗?”
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下面是读文网小编整理的关于圣诞节的英语笑话,以供大家学习参考。
What does Santa Claus like to do in his garden?
Answer: he likes to hoe, hoe, hoe
圣诞老人喜欢在花园里做什么?
答案:锄地。(英文里Hoe 和ho同音。hoe是锄草之意,ho则是圣诞老人的笑声。)
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Just as I began my Christmas Eve service, the electricity in the church failed. The ushers and I found some candles and placed them around the sanctuary. Then I reentered the pulpit, shuffled my notes, and muttered, "Now, where was I?" A tired voice called out, "Right near the end!"
就在我开始平安夜祷告时,教堂停电了。教堂里的接待人员和我找到一些蜡烛,把它们放在礼堂周围。然后我重返讲道坛,整理了一下笔记后,我说:“刚才我讲到哪儿了?”传来一阵不耐烦的声音:“马上就讲完了!”
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有个小男孩叫Lee, 今年七岁,圣诞节晚餐开桌前,家人让他做餐前祷告。家人都带着期待的申请低头看着他,Lee开始做他得祷告,首先,他谢谢上帝赐予他爸爸妈妈,哥哥姐姐诶,奶奶还有他们家的所有叔叔婶婶。然后,他开始感谢上帝赐予他得圣诞节晚餐了。
他感谢上帝赐予他火鸡,馅儿饼,圣诞布丁和红莓酱。然后Lee停下来了 ,大家等啊等啊。。。。Lee沉默了很长时间,然后抬起头看着他妈妈说:“妈妈,如果我感谢上帝赐予我甘蓝菜,他会知道我在撒谎吗?”
注:国外很多小孩子都不喜欢吃甘蓝菜,看《绝望主妇》里面Lynette家的双胞胎就非常讨厌吃甘蓝菜,请了保姆后还拿这个来做实验,看看她们家保姆有没有魅力让两个小鬼头把甘蓝菜吃下去。
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"Isn't the head teacher a bit of a twit?" said a boy to a girl.
"Well, do you know who I am?" inquired the girl.
"No." replied the boy.
"I'm the head teacher's daughter", replied the girl.
"And do you know who I am?" asked the boy.
"No," she uttered.
"Thank goodness!" said the boy with a sigh of relief.
一个小男孩跟小女孩说:“你有没有觉得班主任有点傻?”
小女孩回答到:“啊哈,你知道我是谁吗?”
小男孩回答道:“不知道。”
小女孩说:“我就是你口中所说的傻班主任的女儿。”
小男孩(面不改色心里惊恐地)问:“那你知道我是谁吗?”
小女孩说:“不知道。”
小男孩大大的松了口气,说道“真是谢天谢地啊。”
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笑话能够使我们在紧张的工作生活当中获得一丝的放松,想放松一下心情的话,那么请阅读下面读文网小编为大家带来英语经典笑话带翻译,希望大家喜欢!
A Sunday school teacher was telling her pupils the importance of making others glad."Now,children,"said she,"has anyone of you ever made someone else glad?"
学校的老师正在对学生讲使别人高兴的重要性。“现在,孩子们,”她说:“她们当中有谁让别人高兴过?”
"Please,teacher:said a small boy,:I’ve made someone glad yesterday."
“我,老师,”一个小男孩说:“昨天我就使别人高兴过。”
"Well done. Who was that”
“做得好。是谁呢?”
"My granny."
“我奶奶。”
"Good boy. Now tell us how you made your grandmother glad."
“好孩子。现在告诉我们,你是怎样使你奶奶高兴的。”
"Please,teacher,I went to see her yesterday,and stayed with her three hours.Then I said to her,‘Granny, I’m going home’,and she said,‘Well,I'm glad!’”
“是这样的,老师。我昨天去看她,在她那儿待了三个小时。然后我跟她说:‘奶奶,我要回家了。’她说:‘啊,我很高兴!’”
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笑话能够使我们在紧张的工作生活当中获得一丝的放松,想放松一下心情的话,那么请阅读下面读文网小编为大家带来经典英语小笑话带翻译,欢迎大家阅读!
A group from Chicago spent a weekend gambling in Las Vegas. One of the men on the train won$100,000. He didn’t want anyone to know about it,so he decided not to return with others,but took a later plane home,arriving back at 3 am.
周末,有一个从芝加哥来的旅行团在拉斯维加斯赌钱。其中一个人赢了10万美元。他不愿意让别人知道,所以他决定不和别人一起回去,他乘了一架晚一些的飞机回家,到家的时候已是凌晨3点。他立刻来到房子的后花园,挖了一个洞,把钱埋了进去。
He immediately went out to the back garden of his house,dug a hole and planted the money in it. The following morning he walked outside and found only an empty hole. He noticed footsteps leading from the hole to the house next door,which was owned by a deaf mute. On the same street lived a professor who understood sign language and was a friend of the deaf man. Grabbing his pistol,the enraged man went to awaken the professor and dragged him to the deaf man’s house.
第二天早晨,他出去发现洞是空的。他看到有脚印延伸到他的邻居家里,那里住着一个聋哑人。在同一条街道上,还住着一位教授,他懂得手语,是那个聋哑人的朋友。这个人非常生气,他带了一把手枪,把教授叫醒,然后把他拖到聋哑人家里。
"You tell the guy that if he doesn't give me back my$100 000,I’m going to kill him,”He screamed at the professor. The professor conveyed the message to his friend,and his friend replied in sign language,“I hid in my backyard,under the cherry tree.”
“告诉他如果不还我10万美元,我就把他杀了!”他对教授吼道。教授把他的意思告诉了他的朋友‘他的朋友用手语告诉教授:“我把它藏在了后院的樱桃树下了。”
The professor turned to the man with the gun and said,“He’s not going to tell you. He says he he’d rather die first.”
教授转身对持枪的人说道:“他说他宁愿去死也不会告诉你。”
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想用轻松愉快的心情来学习英语吗?下面读文网小编为大家带来英语幽默短笑话带翻译,希望大家喜欢!
Our teacher was telling us about a new system of memory training being used in someschools today.
我们的老师正在给我们介绍现在某些学校使用的一种新的记忆训练系统。
“It works like this,”she said. "Suppose you wanted to remember the name of a poet-Robert Burns,for instance.”She told us to think of him as Bobby Burns.“Now get in your head a picture of a London policeman,a bobby in flames. See? Bobby Burns!”
“这个系统是这样的,”她说。“假定你要记住一个诗人的名字一一例如,要记住罗伯特·彭斯的名字。”她告诉我们把他当作博比·彭斯。“让你的脑海里闪现出一个伦敦警察的形象,燃烧着的警察。明白吗?警察燃烧!”
“I see what you mean,”said the class know it all.“But how can you tell that it's not Robert Browning?”
“我明白你的意思,”班上的万事通说。“但是你怎么能说那就不是罗伯特·布朗宁呢?”
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想边看英语笑话边学英语吗?下面读文网小编为大家带来英语小笑话图片带翻译,欢迎大家阅读学习!
Can I take the last piece of cake?
我可以拿走最后一块蛋糕吗?
The moment it gets real tense at the Apocalypse
那一刻才是世界末日真正的紧张
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笑话是人们生活中不可缺少的“调剂品”,在我们的日常生活中起着重要放松作用。下面读文网小编为大家带来经典幽默英语小笑话带翻译,希望大家喜欢!
Jack had gone to the university to study history, but at the end of his first year,his history professor failed him in his examinations,and he was told that he would have to leave the university. However,his father decided that he would go to see the professor to urge him to let Jack continue his studies the following year.
杰克在一所大学学历史。第一学期结束时,历史课教授没让他及格。学校让他退学。然而,杰克的父亲决定去见教授,强烈要求让杰克继续来年的学业。
"He’s a good boy,"said Jack’s father,"and if you let him pass this time,I’m sure he’II improve a lot next year and pass the examinations at the end of it really well.”
“他是个好孩子,”杰克的父亲说,“您要是让他这次及格,我相信他明年会有很大进步,学期结束时,他一定会考好的。”
"No,no,that’s quite impossible,"replied the professor immediately.“Do you know,last month I asked him when Napoleon had died,he didn't know”
“不,不,那不可能,”教授马上回答,“你知道吗?上个月我问他拿破仑什么时候死的,他都不知道。”
"Please sir, give him another chance,"said Jack’s father. "You see I'm afraid we don’t take any newspaper in our house,so none of us even knows that Napoleon was ill,"
“先生,请再给他一次机会吧。”杰克的父亲说,“你不知道,恐怕是因为我们家没有订报纸。我们家的人连拿破仑病了都不知道。”
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幽默英语小笑话不仅是放松的一种方式,还是我们学习英语的一种方法。下面读文网小编为大家带来轻松幽默英语笑话精选,欢迎大家阅读!
A little boy is in school working on his arithmetic. The teacher says,“Imagine there are five blackbirds sitting on a fence. You pick up your gun and shoot one. How many blackbirds are left”
一个小男孩在上算术课。老师问他:“假设篱笆上站着5只画眉。你用枪打死了一只,还剩几只?”
The litter boy thinks for a moment and says“None !”
小男孩想了一会回答说:“一只也没有了!
The teacher replies,“None,how do youfigure that?”
老师说:“一只也没了?你是怎么想出来的?”
The little boy says,“If I shoot one,all the other birds will fly away scared,leaving none on the fence.”
小男孩答道:“打死一只,其他的都吓飞了,篱笆上自然一只画眉也没有了。”
The teacher replies,"Hmmmmm, not exactly,but I do like the way you think"
老师赞许地说:“嗯,不全对,但我欣赏你思考问题的方式!”
The little boy then says,"Teacher, can I ask you a question?There are three women sitting on a park bench eating ice cream cones. One is licking her cone,another is biting it, and the third one is sucking it.How can you tell me which one of the women is married?”
小男孩于是说:“老师,我能问你一个问题吗?有三个妇女坐在公园的长椅上吃甜筒冰激凌。一个用舌头舔,一个用牙咬,一个用嘴吸,你说她们中哪一个结婚了?”
The teacher ponders the question uncomfortably and then finally replies,"Well,I guess the one sucking her cone.”
老师感到很不自在,他想了很大一会儿,最后回答说:“嗯,我猜应该是那个用嘴吸的吧。”
To which the little boy replies,“Actually,it’s the one with the wedding ring,but I do like the way you think”
听了老师的话,小男孩说:“答案是那个戴戒指的,虽然你答错了,但是我真的很欣赏您思考问题的方式。”
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阅读英语笑话是我们放松的一种方式,下面读文网小编为大家带来幽默搞笑英语小笑话,欢迎大家阅读收藏!
On her return from school,little Dolly, aged ten,was pulled on to her Daddy's knee,and informed that the fairies had that day brought a big surprise-a little baby brother.She seemed glad,and presently said:
放学回到家里,十岁的小多莉被拉过来坐在她爸爸的膝上,她被告知那天仙女们带来了一个大大的惊奇—一个婴儿小弟弟。她似乎很高兴,马上说:
"Will you give me a stamp,daddy?I want to write and tell brother Tom.
“爸爸,你能不能给我一张邮票?我要写信告诉汤姆哥哥。”
The father was touched by this,and provided the little lass with the materials to write a letter to her brother,who was away at school.Later,curious to know how she would tell the news,he took an opportunity to read what she had written.He received something of a shock on reading the following:
父亲被这话感动了,他为小姑娘提供了给她哥哥写信所需的各种用具,她的哥哥住在学校里。后来,想知道她是怎么报告这个消息的,他找机会读了她写的信。在读到下面这两行字时,他差点儿惊呆了:
“Dear Tom,
“亲爱的汤姆:
It's come off today.You've lost;it's a boy.”
今天结果出来了,你输了;是个男孩。”
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笑话使人们在刻板的生活中感到一丝快意和放松,在人们的日常生活中起着重要调剂作用。下面读文网小编为大家带来幽默趣味英语笑话精选,欢迎大家阅读!
Creighton was going along a West end square when he saw a little fellow trying to reach the knocker of a large house.
当克莱顿教授沿着伦敦西区的一个广场走着的时候,他看见一个小家伙正试图抓住一所大房子的门环。
"Can’t you reach up so high? "asked the professor kindly.
“你是不是够不到这么高的地方呢?”教授好意地问。
"No,Slr,”said the small youngster.
“是的,先生。”那小孩说。
"Well, then, let me help you,”and the professor mounted the three steps and gave a splendid rat-tat.
“那好,让我来帮你。”教授登上那三级台阶,在门上重重扣了几下。
The little boy glanced hastily at the gentleman of the cloth. "Come on,”he yelled,"we must both run away.”
那个小男孩急忙给教授递上一个眼色。“快跑,”他喊着:“我们俩都得跑。”
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阅读英语笑话是放松心情的一种好方法,下面读文网小编为大家带来英语幽默轻松笑话精选,希望大家喜欢!
In an entrance examination of a conservatory of music,the teacher asked one of the boys,"What is the most important physiological quality of a musician”
在一次音乐学院的入学考试中,老师问一位应试的小伙子:“音乐家最重要的生理素质是什么?”
"To be deaf,”replied the boy.
“耳聋。”小伙子回答说。
"Nonsense”said the teacher angrily
“胡说!”老师愤怒地说。
"Why, sirs Don't you know that the most famous musician Beethoven was deaf?”the boy asked in reply disdainfully.
“怎么了,先生!您难道连鼎鼎大名的音乐家贝多芬是个聋子都不知道吗?”小伙子轻蔑地反问道。
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在繁忙的生活中需要英语笑话来放松我们的心情,下面读文网小编为大家带来放松幽默英语笑话,希望大家喜欢!
The famous Dr. Smith,dean of Medical College,was appointed private physician to the King. Whereupon he proudly wrote the following notice on the blackboard of his classes:“Professor Smith informs his students that he has been appointed Honorary Physician to His Majesty the King.”
医学院院长,著名的史密斯博士被任命为国王的私人医生。于是,他自豪地在他任教的班里的教室里的黑板上写下如下通知:“史密斯教授通知他的学生,他已荣任国王陛下的医生。”
When he returned to his classroom in the afternoon,he found written below his notice this line: "God save the King”
当他下午回到教室的时候,发现他的通知下面又加了一行字:“愿上帝保佑国王!
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